August 2008 /September 2008 /October 2008 /November 2008 /December 2008 /January 2009 /February 2009 /March 2009 /April 2009 /

I wonder, if the question I was asked during speech was the most memorable experience of Impermanence, what would I have answered? I remember Gigi's speech, it was about the death of her Grandmother. Death is a really clear sign of impermanence. But I see it as a phase. At first, you're dying. And after, your dead. How does it feel like to die? I don't know. But I know it would be a great pain to see your loved ones breathe their last. That's why I'd rather die before anyone else does, because I'm afraid of the pain. Yeah, it sounds so selfish, but no one would really feel pain when I'm the one who would pass away. Sorry for this post, but for the past few days my mind's been filled up with these kind of thoughts. Maybe because of the frequent news about these. There are so many unsuspected deaths occuring, and I wake up in the middle of the night thinking when my time would be, what's waiting for me on the other side, what would happen to the people I'd leave behind, and all those. I'm getting paranoid. If a family member's not home yet, I can't sleep and can't do anything but pray that they'd get home safely. Argh. I don't like thinking about this anymore. :

(1) balloons.